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Living with a Universal Medicine cult member

JuanfordHusk1

Painting by Juan Ford

Late 2012, HDIH, the devoted partner of a UniMed student posted on his struggle to support the ‘self-loving choices’ of the love of his life. He wrote an open letter to New Age messiah, Serge Benhayon, of the impact of his habit forming practices on his family. I’m reposting it as an important reminder of the grim reality beyond the copious quantities of feel good propaganda the cult generates, and as a timely discussion point for those living with UM’s unisex Sons of God on how to maintain or retrieve relationships.

*Note to commenters – please keep to the topic on this post and confine your comments to the subject of personal relationships with cult members. Comments on the latest propaganda etc. can go on the gossip posts. 

An advantage of UM’s social media campaign to trash critics is that it’s brought me a lot of new readers and supporters. Many have become aware of me because their loved ones have linked to defamatory nonsense from their Facebook pages. When they seek me out, they uniformly express frustration with Esoteric students gullibility and irrational defence of the UM scam. They tell of personality changes and tense discussions where reasonable questions are met with stonewalling, obfuscation, fibs and absurdities. They express dismay and grief at the loss of the person they knew, and they seek direction and hope.

Biting one’s tongue – dealing with cult members

Many reading will be aware that confronting UMers is futile, and any amount of facts will not sway their religious devotion to Benhayon Corp. On my blogs I’ve made many criticisms of UM, however, the purpose was to gain public attention for the secrecy, hypocrisy and anti-social behaviour at the core of this dangerous organization. From the outset I had grave concerns about Benhayon’s perverted behaviour and his death worship, and cult expert David Millikan told me groups are most dangerous when no one is scrutinizing them. My purpose in blogging was to out their vile behaviour. It was not an effort to persuade cult members. That requires a whole set of different skills.

Cult members might leave cults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the revelation of facts is enough, but when it isn’t they usually don’t leave until they wake up to the dishonesty and harm, or the demands of the group and its leader become unbearable. Until then, communicating with true believers is like walking on eggshells

Some tips for dealing with ex followers:

These were developed through discussions with people who often counsel ex cult members and their loved ones.

*Criticism of UM will only put you at loggerheads with followers. Keep discussions open ended. Don’t expect to make progress, or expect it to be very slow.

*Don’t call UM a cult to a follower. The conversation will end and they may shut you out completely.

*Ask what was missing from their lives or relationships that made them attracted to UM.

*Ask how they might have gotten those needs met without joining a group that makes such high demands of their time, money and relationships.

*Be gentle with your rejoinders. They will deny there are high demands so perhaps observe that you’ve noticed they go to a lot of UM events and have lots of healings, and it must cost a lot. Remark that they don’t spend much time with family and their pre-UM friends and they always seem to be occupied with UM activities.

*Only question controversial subject matter if the person is behaving reasonably, and try to do it without being confrontational.

*Leaving the cult is difficult, particularly if they’ve rejected family and old friends and don’t feel they have anything to return to. If they try to leave they will either be love-bombed/emotionally blackmailed into staying, or they will have asked too many questions and will be shunned and harassed. Others will leave when they suffer some illness or misfortune and find their ‘non-pandering’ ‘friends’ are either unsupportive or outright rejecting. Whichever the case, they will need people in their lives who can support them emotionally and non judgementally. Most UM followers are good people who’ve been misled into participating in evil. Only a small proportion are true sociopaths or anti-social opportunists, and those generally find their way to the upper rungs of the hierarchy, or leave when they fall out with others in grappling for positions of power.

*It may be too late for some cult members to rebuild relationships, particularly if they show no remorse. However, it’s best to try to keep lines of communication open for those who develop insight and want out. Let the person know you care for them, but you can remain uncompromising on the subject of UM.

It’s worth watching the Margaret Singer talk on leaving cults if you haven’t already.

A contributor on the Rick Ross Forum, Knowledge is King, wrote an excellent post on how he communicated with his brother, a UM student, who has since left the cult. The page includes a valuable discussion from several contributors on the experience of partners and spouses.

An open letter to Serge Benhayon from HDIH

An important element that’s lacking from my exposure of Universal Medicine has been first hand accounts from those with experience of day to day life in the Esoteric bell jar. It’s lacking because of the reluctance of former followers and their loved ones to open up about it, yet it’s these experiences, like that of HDIH, that are most helpful to readers trying to keep their sanity and their relationships together. Readers need to know that it’s not just them suffering – that it’s a common theme among the UM faith-full that the more they’re drawn into the Esoteric habit, the more they change for the worse. They become enamoured of nonsense, disengaged, aggressive or passive aggressive, lacking in empathy, paranoid, dishonest and disdainful of their pre-cult life and the people in it. For the love of Serge.

Last I heard from HDIH, his partner had lost interest in UM and was making a welcome return to her pre-cult self. He wasn’t sure what had brought about her decision.

How Does It Happen writes

Dear Serge,
 
I’ve never met you, yet I feel compelled to write a letter to you letting you know of the influence you have had on my life. I have attended a webcast of you speaking, and I have had three appointments with practitioners who are affiliated with your EPA.
 
The influence you have had on my life doesn’t come from any of those instances. It comes from the changes your teachings have made to my partner. I have watched her change from a strong, confident and loving person to a shadow of her former self.
 
My partner and I have been together for over a decade. We have enjoyed a beautiful relationship that has recently produced a child. I’m not saying our relationship has ever been perfect, but we have always been able to work together through love to ensure that our relationship overcame any issues.
 
A few years ago something happened to my partner that had a profoundly negative impact on her. This event left her very emotionally vulnerable. She was able to start dealing well with what had happened with professional help. Unfortunately, she also started to receive help from a family member who started to pass on some of your teachings. On the recommendations of this family member, my partner started to see a practitioner quite closely affiliated to you.
 
To begin with, I had no real issues with what my partner was starting to believe in. I was actually quite interested in some of the ideas for a while. However, over time I began to notice a few worrying things.
 
My partner and some family members quite suddenly were unable to make any decisions without consulting their esoteric practitioner. I have witnessed the complete destruction of their self-esteem and confidence. I recognize this as a direct goal of yours and can’t help but be impressed at the ease of which you achieve it.
 
One of the effects of your work that I find most distressing is the fear and anxiety I see in my partner. I see it in your followers in general so I know it isn’t unique to my loved one. I see the anxiety she has around food. Good, nutritious food causes fear in her. It disgusts me that something so integral to her well-being could now cause her such stress.
 
I see her fear of me living an ordinary life and bringing that ordinary life into our home. How is a relationship supposed to survive when one of the members believes that their partner drains her kidney energy and brings evil entities to feed off her and her child? It’s truly diabolical.
 
One thing I’ve had to come to grips with through all this is that no one can control another person. Unscrupulous individuals may be able to assert undue influence on another person through deceit and manipulation, but that’s about the extent of it. As a result, I have had to alter my life to fit your follower’s bizarre world views.
 
I could almost forgive you for the changes I’ve seen in my partner, and I really have only mentioned a couple of the numerous detrimental effects you’ve had on her. I could almost forgive you for the effect that you’ve indirectly had on my life. My partner and I are both adults and no one person can be completely to blame for the decisions and actions of another.
 
I can never and will never forgive you for the influence you have had on my beautiful little daughter. You have managed to cause tension and fear in her home. You have turned her mother into a person filled with fear and anxiety. You have negatively altered her upbringing in ways that I can only watch and attempt to mitigate. I would like to ask you if all of this is a direct goal of yours, or if we are all collateral damage in your quest for more money and power. I would like to ask you quite a few things but I am well aware that you won’t reply. I know enough about you to know that you’ll ignore all of this.
 
This, to you, is an inconvenient truth. It does not serve your interests to realize the pain you cause. It does not serve your interests to acknowledge the lives you ruin. Perhaps you actually lack the cognitive ability to understand the effects of your greed?
 
I will continue to love my partner and do what I can to ensure that my loved ones are able to prosper. I will do this with the hope that one day you will crumble under your lies and deception. Maybe then our lives can return to being full of real joy and real happiness.
 
HDIH
 
I understand that people from Universal Medicine other than Serge will read this and I invite questions and debate about anything in this letter. 
Originally posted on Universal Medicine Accountability

See also

HDIH post on the Rick Ross cult education forum:

Have Your Say Posts on the Universal Medicine Accountability

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22 Comments on “Living with a Universal Medicine cult member”

  1. From anon commenter says:

    Last week an anonymous commenter left the following on the Accountability blog. It’s what prompted me to revive HDIH’s post – realising that for every new recruit to UM is new misery for partners and circles of loved ones.

    Finally there is someone else out there who can verify that this behaviour is not normal
    And to think my loving partner has tried to make me think there is something wrong with me.
    I try to drop hints to point out the illogicality in many of the things serge says are good or bad.
    Book for fucks sake if they have any knowledge in them are unwelcome inside the house their energy is too heavy.
    Not being able to do normal day to day things because they are unloving
    A complete turning off of any love making and no having sex allowed its pranic
    Very happy to squander money on uni med stuff but no luxuries for you not even the odd book.
    I feel your pain not energetically but mentally.
    It’s physically draining

    I’d like to encourage all of you to talk about your UM experience – not just complaining about Serge’s bullshit, but about the daily practices and behaviours. It’s also very useful to us to have updates. Recently I was told children are being put on that lethal diet – no root vegetables, no grains, no dairy, no beef, no eggs. That’s child abuse that could do irreversible developmental damage and I encouraged the person to report that mother to Child Protection.

  2. Lance says:

    You’ve returned to the root of the problem with this post. My own domestic travails are well known and public thanks to my lovely ex wife in her telling of the story.

    Like HDIH I find Serge’s behaviour unforgivable as there is clear intent to drive a wedge into relationships, breaking families asunder. This is not debatable by a right thinking person- just read his books or listen to his podcasts- the insistent message belittling relationships and especially men are their central theme, poorly masked by his double-speak.

    And of course, in my case (and a few more I am aware of) Serge has driven the final nail with a timely missive suggesting that the woman would be empowered by leaving their partner. An inevitability after years of exposure to such messages.

    Passive-aggressiveness then becomes the chosen tool of empowerment. There is no need to explain oneself for the inexplicable change in behaviour, feeling or intimacy. That’d be enjoining or sympathizing; no-no’s in the new world order of the misnomer known as “the livingness”.

    Or maybe they just don’t know why.

    I’ve heard Serge and other members such as the erudite Charles Wilson call me a liar when I have claimed there are many families affected by Universal Medicine, and specifically Serge. I’d like them to prove that. I know of scores locally, interstate and abroad. And I often come across new ones. Naturally, I keep a record.

    All of them tell the same tale of having to confront unimaginable change in their partner, accusations of abuse out of thin air, passive-aggressive shut downs, obsession with the group, meetings & events plus inordinate amounts of money vanishing at about the same time.

    It was that behaviour that informed me the group was a cult. It was articulated to me a little later when a cult aware psychologist told me that in their view a cult or religious movement was destructive when it had any negative effect on a family or relationship.

    There’s no doubt Serge asks members to choose. We have that in his own words implicitly and explicitly. Despite his bald face lie on national television to the contrary.

    What is even more despicable is that he then turns those members against their former partners, families and friends, wilfully and with grievous intent. And then he gloats about it; evidenced in his published emails.

    It’s indicative of his evil handiwork that this glaring type of treachery, obvious as unusual and self destructive even to a regular members of the public, is championed and cheered on by the enamoured members as if it is empowerment personified and the apex of ethics.

    On the contrary, it’s not the work of an enlightened or love-filled man, or his followers.

    I know there are scores of ex partners, friends and family members out there with a sorry tale to tell; and though it’s a brave soul who speaks up against the group these days given their hostility, any new voice helps.

    Maybe it will even encourage those most egregiously disaffected to speak up and help shine the light on Serge he “truly” deserves. And no, it is not as the saviour of the world.

    He’s currently has the members intoning a new mantra that it “doesn’t matter what he did in the past because he’s so great at what he does now”. Maybe there’s some prescience to Serge’s new reality shifting tactic. I hope so.

    For right now Serge thinks he has gotten away with it. We want to remind him, he hasn’t- and that it just a matter of time before he reaps the bitter fruit of the seeds he has sown.

  3. Esther says:

    I’d like to encourage those of you living with or dealing with cult members to tell us what is happening in your households and relationships with them.

    We know Serge is a bogan scammer crossed with Caligula, but I’d like some of you to tell us the specifics, instead of just complaining about Serge and how stupid UMers are.

    You can do it without naming anyone or referring to your location.

    People outside the cult and outside your households – including your own loved ones – have no idea what you’re whingeing about if you don’t get descriptive about what’s going on at home. What are cult members doing from the time they wake at 3 am. What are they saying, doing, eating? What rules are they imposing. Outsiders don’t know you’re being told drinking wine puts holes in the energy field that could allow an entity to enter, or that your partners are banning books and music.

    Those specifics give outsiders a far better idea of the UM horror show than 9 million words of complaining about how Serge is a prick and your wives have changed. We know.

    I can’t write about what’s going on in your homes because I’m not living it. First hand accounts are much more impactful than anything I can write.

    These blogs are an opportunity to inform others and to support each other. I’d encourage you to use it, particularly now that I’m moving on to other projects.

    And again, you can make comments anonymously – just leave the name, email and URL fields blank, or invent a name for yourself.

  4. W. Harper says:

    “It’s physically draining”. Yes, it is. And it’s terribly damaging to everyone around the person involved. The tragedy of all of this is the shattered lives, the dreams and hopes of families who are no longer together. And while the members tell each other they are parting “in love” and making “self loving choices”, the reality is a level of selfishness that is hard to fathom.

    Worth saying again and again that the only ones who see anything to do with Universal Medicine as “loving” are the members and those that lead them. To every other soul who has encountered this group they appear exactly as they are.

  5. Anon ... says:

    My personal experience:

    A gradual distancing of previously close relationships, connections fading away…

    Less frequent, more tense awkward social encounters (do we mention the elephant in the room or pretend all is fine?).

    Social get togethers are often fraught: I make a loving attempts to locate healthy gluten and dairy free food, however, for some unknown esoteric reason it isn’t good enough (they won’t eat it, maybe just a chick pea).

    They seem to have developed a fear of most food / an eating disorder?

    At first they lose weight and appear healthier, then they seem to wither away, appear haggard…

    Seem depressed, dissociated, sometimes paranoid…

    Perhaps depleted due to malnutrition, sleep deprivation and striving to an unrealistic level of perfectionism?

    Start to talk like S, no original ideas …

    There’s a fragile, defensive wall around them, sometimes an air of superiority…

    UM critics are mentioned in a derogatory way (obviously critics have a mental illness or some obsessive grudge). Apparently UMers are unaware of (and don’t want to know about) valid unanswered questions and criticisms, as their over-revered leader forbids them to read / believe it.

    Surely one day they will realise how untenable and destructive it is, we will always welcome and love them …

  6. Sideshow Ali says:

    I along with quite a fee others, witnessed the tennis Serge, the apprentice guru if you like
    I saw a lovely young girl with athletic ability and a love of tennis methodically possessed and abused as a tool for a man seeking fame, glory and riches on the tennis circuit.
    She was ostracized from her family, particularly her mother and her sister, and her father was skillfully conned until it was too late. She was allowed no friends outside the Benhayon family, pulled from school, and overtrained mercilessly until she completely burnt out and put down the racquet.
    But she could not escape Serge. She went on to coach under Serge and he continued to engulf her life.
    Now she is his wife. She has given in. Her life has been owned from her early teens.
    I see her in the UM clips, she looks zombified.
    Stockholm syndrome is the label now.
    Serge has gone from cruelty to lovey dovey now they are married. He has been able to do that and keep Debra close and supportive. He has been able to manipulate at this personal level. Confidence is high. Bring on the world.
    My personal experience gives me great saddness for Miranda.
    She had no choice as an unprotected child, a lot of us witnessed it and in retrospect feel helpless that we could not help her. She and Debra are the 2 people who could have really blow the whistle on the real Serge, but I guess the money is too good.

    • Lord of Form says:

      Fear.

      He has them trapped in fear and fantasy, just the like the rest of the group. What the members fail to realise is Miranda is about as free as those girls that have been taken captive for years only to eventually be let out and who then protect their captors.

      They celebrate her grooming and capture as amazing, because it was it happening to them too.

    • Esther says:

      I don’t see Miranda as having the choice to get out. Deborah’s as bad as Serge.

      I found this in Father Tom Doyle’s writings on religious duress exploring the ‘trauma bond’ or strong emotional ties between perpetrators and victims of longstanding abuse:

      The term was first used by Dr. David Dutton, a Canadian psychologist who had done extensive research on domestic violence and child abuse…Dutton describes traumatic bonding as:

      ‘…the development of strong emotional ties between two persons, with one person intermittently harassing, beating, threatening, abusing or intimidating the other.”
      Dr. Dutton notes that this phenomenon is based on the existence of a power imbalance wherein the maltreated person perceives him or herself to be subjugated to be dominated by the other.

      There are distinct similarities between Dutton’s trauma bond and the Stockholm Syndrome and both are applicable to the unique “relationship” between a clergy perpetrator and his victim. The toxic bond that often exists is enabled by a pre-existing emotional relationship between the two which causes the victim to see no other choice but to remain in the abusive situation. Dr. Shirley Julich compared the effects of child sexual abuse to those of the famous “Stockholm Syndrome” in a recent article:

      “Children could be particularly susceptible to the development of Stockholm Syndrome. The sexual abuse of a child, typically, has been enabled because of a pre-existing emotional bond. The continuation of this relationship has occurred because a child simply had no other choice, but to survive the best way he or she could. Nurturance and protection are basic needs. Victims of child sexual abuse, very often, have been abused by a person who had the responsibility of providing these basic needs.”

      …The trauma bond becomes stronger and even more pathological as the exploitive relationship continues. It is often affirmed in the victim’s view, by the Church’s apparent approval of the priest’s behavior. Tom Doyle, Religious Duress p.31

      As ‘elite’ tennis coach, Serge took on role of father figure when she was moved into his nest. The isolation, domination and duress began at a stage when she was still very much in need of parental protection and nurturing – So Serge & Debby took on the dual roles of parent figures and abusers, and like the other Benhayon kids, she has been robbed of the freedom to grow beyond that relationship. The situation is worse now because she’s surrounded by sycophants who literally worship her captors. She’s also had her head filled with supernatural threats.

  7. Sideshow Ali says:

    Yes, I understand the reality of it all now
    It never sat well with me that money held Miranda there
    The emotional cage has been locked for so long she can’t leave
    As a child she received so much possessive abuse from Serge
    Complete backflip and now is the loving gentle husband who adores her
    For someone who can see no way out, this role of wife must at least give her a sense of mental control over her abducted life so far
    Its still all about possession and robbing of freedom which no human being has a right to over another
    We who have witnessed know that Miranda has an inner strength to continue to survive
    Legally, even if she did snap out of it she would find it difficult to prosecute Serge now she has married him
    Im sure Serge and Deb are fully aware of this.
    Its not rocket science
    As for the UM mob, especially the mothers
    SHAME ON ALL OF YOU

    • Lord of Repetition says:

      Continuing that shame, it doesn’t take much to confirm what you say. The North Coast has plenty of people who knew Serge and Miranda at that time and will corroborate those events independently, either as a view formed at the time from occasional interactions or from more first hand knowledge.

      And then there are those who have intimate knowledge of those days flushed out when the media showed interest in 2012.

      But you don’t need to know any of that to know something is not right… It’s right under their noses. In fact, you could now say Serge is rubbing them in it.

      Any decent person, interested in the truth, could find this out with a bit of thinking, the internet and a few phone calls.

      Yet members- many of them mothers- send their children to stay over at Serge’s. Or sing his praise, or have them attest to his perfection on-line.

      Wrong, wrong, wrong. It continues to shock me today as much as it did when I heard it from first hand back then.

      These events a precursor to the subject Esther has raised. The grooming, the breaking of familial bonds, engendering distrust, the polarisation and the serpentine fomenting of hatred. A pattern learned in the taking of Miranda, and one now achieved on an industrial scale with members.

      Every partner or family member that pushes back on their loved one is simply repeating those events that started two decades ago; caught in the vortex of Serge’s pathological need to control and destroy the lives of those around him for his own gain. He doesn’t care. That is why he looks so calm and happy with himself.

      What normal person would feel good knowing they have caused one person pain? What normal person attacks those he has harmed? What normal person asks his members to do the same?

      Serge is certainly not normal, but not for the reasons he is pretending. He is however, a masterful manipulator.

  8. Anon ... says:

    Psychological, social & spiritual abuse is often very subtle, the victim unaware of the skilful manipulation. The younger, the more “crippling” (never really leaving home or experiencing true independence / maturity). They are often made to feel inadequate & incapable of surviving alone. Practically, emotionally, socially and / or financially dependent on the “loving”, controlling perpetrator. Expected to be grateful for the privilege of “specialness”, over dependency & deprived freedom! Fear of karmic consequences is the ultimate form of spiritual control & abuse. (The most vulnerable are often so over controlled & monitored, they aren’t allowed access to the information & support which could empower to set free. Unless the perception of freedom / being alone is terrifying!).

  9. E says:

    Something very disturbing told to me recently was about the intensity of love bombing of new recruits. I was told about a recruit who broke up with a long term partner within a very short time of starting to go to UM events. The break up came out of nowhere and there was no negotiation. The new recruit was literally mobbed by a pack of Serge’s Brides who became her constant company 24/7 and the ex partner believes the Brides were sleeping in bed with her as well. And probably still are.

    Never underestimate physical bonding as part of the brainwashing process.

    The recruit apparently has some skill that is useful to UM’s commercial operation and has been groomed into a position in the business with constant praise about how AMAZING she is.

    But I’m sure no one ever tells her what to do…

  10. Frank Leigh says:

    Heres my experience. Geography hasnt stopped this scourge named serrge. He was here not long ago with his hill billy, bucked teeth banjo picking kids creating a storm in their own teacups. A few pilgrims were heard muttering nasty things about Esther/Lance like they knew them, faithfully towing the party line.
    Someone who was close to me- unnamed in case they take to bashing me and her like they do everyone else – is now someone I don’t know from Adam. Or is it Eve? Once a sweetheart with a face breaking smile, she’s now a wraith — sullen, skinny, and a face held so hard it’d shatter in a strong wind. She says she feels the best she ever has. She wont discuss her strange beliefs which dont sound like anything she would have thought up herself (no brainwashing???) won’t come near me if I have a pint (nearly never) and ignores those she shouldnt to absorb herself in blogs/books/skype calls/recordings. She’s checked out, distant and downright awful to be around. If I move out she won’t even notice. She walks out of the room when I say things she doesnt want to hear. We eat shite and music has been replaced by some god awful moaning noise. Its like living in the vacuum of space with an alien.
    Thanks very much serge. You’ve done our lot in by the looks of it. You’re one prize pratt but you can suck them in.

    • Esther says:

      Hi Frank, thanks for your comment. I hope you used a false name – if not reply quickly and I’ll pull it from your comment.

      If you get a minute would you mind elaborating on how much time your partner is spending online every day? Could you estimate an average in hours spent on skype and the blogs? Ta.

      ANYONE? I’d be interested to quantify how long followers are spending online each day.

  11. Bella says:

    I too have lost a close family member to UM and I am devastated.
    I was aware that she was attending all the talks and weekend courses, and slowly over time started to say strange things and act differently. I was surprised at some of her new thoughts on food and her remarks became quite outlandish if you questioned her.
    It has actually taken two years for me to realise that she is in a cult, but I had given up trying to figure it out about a year ago and just let her get on with it, hardly really seeing her due to the fact that she was so alternative, unreasonable, selfish, opinionated and quite frankly boring to be with.
    She used to be lots of fun, confident and easy going, now she is a shadow of her former self, has a fear of food, she is anxious, self loving but has distanced herself from family members and old friends who dare to question why she has become a different person and so extreme.
    I tried to talk to her rationally but she refused to listen and said that I do not understand UM and it is none of my business.
    She has withered away with the strict diet but says she feels the best she ever has, although she looks terrible and is always tired. Maybe that’s because she has to go to bed at 8pm and get up at 3 or 4 to listen to Serges podcast?
    She was told once by a UM member that she wasn’t in The ‘livingness’ enough and was racked by guilt so increased her time on the UM website and attended more courses that offer no recognised qualification (more money)
    She has all the merchandise and lives by it, filling Serges pockets again. Cards, symbols, Pillow cases, CD’s, pendants, and now they are collecting donations for Natalie on TV? That advert made me feel sick!
    Alcohol is poison, gluten, dairy and sugar are poison and ‘dull’ you, although I consume all three in moderation and I am healthy and happy. And the holes in the energy lines, she is actually quite paranoid about those.
    Moderation is not an option she says, it’s live esoterically or nothing and if that means leaving your family then she is prepared to do it.
    All for Serge.
    Livingness and lovingness and truthfulness? I don’t think so.

    • E says:

      I’ve heard these ‘holes in the energy lines’ mentioned before. I think it’s referring to Serge’s teaching that camembert and chardonnay are pranic and if you consume them an entity can enter you…I’d love to hear a more detailed description of how that works if anyone can offer it.

      Other readers will also recognize what you’ve said here about your loved one not being in ‘The Livingness’ enough. Long term UMer Anne Cummings told me how she’s ‘not there yet’, and I heard the same words from an ex follower telling me how Serge misled her into thinking she could ‘get there’, but of course she didn’t get there – no matter how devout and obedient she was, or how much she invested, because no one ever gets there – not even the Benhayon family of phoneys.

      Yet practitioners and investors stay on that Esoteric mouse-wheel. They keep spending and keep doing ‘the work’, and pull as many other customers as they can in with them. But the result is increasing cognitive disengagement and emotional desperation and anxiety as their UM habit comes to be a behavioural addiction.

      Thank you and all others here for commenting. I think it’s important you all use this post especially to share your experiences. For many of you a time will come when your understanding of how cults work will not only help you deal with your own grief, but it may help you to support your loved one when the pressure becomes too much for them and they want out.

      • Bella says:

        I really can’t understand how any intelligent person can be so taken in by the nonsensical teachings of UM, but I realise that Serge is clever enough to prey on the vunerable.

        Even if you have not experienced a traumatic event in your life, abuse or ill health, he will make sure that he finds something however small, to make you feel guilty about yourself so that you will need healing. And the healing never ends.

        If people need to attend workshops to be told to love themselves, how to be a sex bomb, how to empower themselves and be in the true livingness, not to be afraid of death etc, then so be it.
        But when it does impact negatively on a family in any way, there is a problem.
        It seems contradictory that women have to be told how to be a sex bomb, when UM is teaching them that male energy (especially when they bring home pub energy to their partners – no you can’t have that pint!!) is negative.

        How can you reason with someone who thinks that you, or food or drink are making holes in their energy lines? Someone that has to cleanse the air or themselves religiously after being around pranic energy, which yes includes camembert and chardonay! And books and music and dancing and fun, and staying up after 8pm!
        Anything that might actually give you pleasure is demonised. Everyone who drinks is an alcoholic, with major issues that need to be healed. Even running is bad, only walking lovingly is allowed.
        A sense of humour seems to be a bad thing too, and any sense of reality, of real life and love with real people who may have their flaws, but are pretty normal and enjoying life without having to answer to a Messiah.

        The sad thing is that I can’t even have an honest discussion with my family member because she is now passive aggressive, as he teaches them to be, all I get is an emotionless response as if it is being read from a book, or just fake statements like ‘ all I want is the truth and love’.
        Which is the opposite of we are actually seeing.

        All I can say is don’t be made to feel guilty because you are asking for the explanations which you deserve. The only problem is that there aren’t any logical explanations!

  12. Just saying ... says:

    UM blogs promote “love” & free self expression. Feels more like self obsession & aloofness. Look out if you express something contrary to Serge!

  13. eyewitness says:

    I watched a friend get lured and lost to UM
    She is wasting slowly away and she suffers with an eating disorder brought on by guilt and an inability to stick to the light paleo diet pushed on her
    She vomits up cursed food
    Her relationship crumbled, he did not believe in it
    Her $ flowed into the pit of no return
    She was staying at the Benhayon complex at one stage and doing the courses, travelling OS to the retreats
    They totally read her like a book, promised her everything, made her feel like they were her family
    Buttered her up, put her in the woman I am music clip
    Now she is a shell of her former self, drained away
    UM is like an engulfing cancer on the bodies and minds
    of its victims
    Its criminal and heartbreaking to witness

    • E says:

      I’m very sorry to read this. I heard something similar to this that the Brides of Serge think vomiting is a good thing because it’s ‘clearing’ or whatever. These clowns have the gall to start ‘support’ groups for people with eating disorders. It IS criminal.

      Thanks again for all your comments.


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