Universal Medicine retractions, detractions, sexy-ness & gossip August 2017Posted: August 2, 2017
9 August 2017 – *New fiction – Bathenstool besieged *The merciless suffocation of passion – UM style *Natalie Benhayon before and after special edition
2 August 2017 – Sound Foundation Community Care’s phantom VAT debt cock up + retraction *Esoteric ‘gifts’ from the School of the Livingness *Latest blogs from Universal Medicine does Deutschland🇩🇪
9 August 2017
Retracting the retraction
Before I launch into this gossip instalment, please note that I’ve updated my thoughts below and on the accountability site on the VAT liability of UM’s UK charity rort. The more we look at them, the less sense those accounts make.
I’m not sure I got it wrong at all.
New fiction – ‘It had put on its slippers’
For the info of our overseas readers, Nimbin is a rural paradise HIGH in the hills of Far Northern NSW, a leisurely Astral trip from Lismore. And Mt Warning. Anyway, ‘Nimbin Good Times’, the village’s Peoples Choice newspaper, by popular vote, is running a gripping saga about a rural metropolis wracked by a fetid deluge, that washes in with the foul intrigues of a group of sewer dwellers who ooze and seep into local council and chamber of commerce positions and take over the city…
It’s riveting! Read the first instalment at Nimbin Good Times. I CAN’T WAIT for the next chapter.
Hold on to your urinary valves everyone. UM has released another earth shattering documentary prophesying the end of the world as we know it. The end of meaning. The unhappy ending to end all ends.
Yes, to hell with you all. Sexy-ness has bugger all to do with sex. It’s about anything but sex. It’s about listening to a mind numbing diatribe from the Esoteric dating coach for the ‘playful’ and ‘sexy’ Brides of Serge. Henceforth, by sixth dimensional Hierarchical decree, anything remotely stimulating found on any illuminated screen is to be replaced by that video. ‘Sexy’ is the new synonym for talking, thinking and behaving just like UM’s promoters who love nothing more than a lovely Esoteric Breast Massage, which has ‘not a whiff of anything sexual about it’.
But wait, Esoteric Breast Massage must be sexy because UM says sexiness is not about sex. Yes? That’s how several of the Esoteric Breast Massagers can decide they needn’t be up front with clients about their sexual orientation. Most women are already squeamish about the ‘modality’ and have to be talked into it. Later they find out their practitioner is lesbian, as several of them are. After they’ve had Eso cream lovingly worked into their breasts. With the soft music playing, the oils and the candles burning…to help them ‘connect’ with their ‘femaleness’. They say. As a reader found out – the hard way. ‘Practiced by women for women’ as the blurb goes.
It all makes perfect sense – on the same planet where the dissonance emanating from the instruments of Michael and Miranda Benhayon bears the label ‘Glorious Music’, the pubic palpation of ‘Deeper Femaleness‘ is sold as ‘healing’, and the same ‘sexy’ crew shop themselves as role models at the Girl to Woman Festival. To kids.
Before and after special – Natalie with Love TV
And look, I’m all for a bit of consensual fun between adults. That’s the problem. Informed consent? Call it what it is. Anyone who’s familiar with the words ‘pleasure’ and ‘common sense’ wouldn’t go near Esoteric Women’s Health and their Eso Breast Massages. A morbid grope plus an earful of ‘sexy’ indoctrination? And they charge $80 or something? And call it ‘healing’? No thanks. Just like a bunker compadre tried to persuade some rather adventurous women friends to take a crack at it, so we can report the findings, and has learned some colourful new variations of ‘fuck off’ in the process. I wouldn’t have gone there. Princess left the country to avoid it.
Whatever. On to Natalie with Love. Remember the dose of Esoteric sexy in the 2015 funding pitch for Natalie TV?
UM collected $126,000 to transform the Goonellabah starlet into an international TV star with a potential audience of ‘millions’. Estimated delivery July 2015.
In 2015, Natalie Benhayon will embark on her International TV career but we need your help to make this happen.
For every $20,000 raised we can make a new season of the much anticipated TV show ‘Natalie with Love’
If we reach over $120,000 – We will create and distribute series 1 of ‘Women in Livingness TV’. Pozible crowdfunding site
Over two years later, the resulting product is a not screening on a subscription digital TV channel, as advertised, but on a clunky Weebly website charging $3 per episode. For three episodes.
The crowdfunding scheme that raised $126k from 337 donors, that offered product placements for sponsors etc. to get their stuff in front of ‘millions’, amounted to three overpriced $3 episodes of mind blowing content. It took until January this year to launch three instalments of Natalie telling yes-girl Rachel Evans how to put on a frock. With a bonus 10 minute, badly shot, overlit monologue from Rachel about how she ‘felt’ about her amazing workover 12 months later. I challenge any of you to sit through the whole ten minutes of the freebie.
For some reason the ‘relationship’ interview with Mark Twist never went to air.
It’s hardly Christiane Amanpour.
It’s hardly worth $126k. And to add insult to rip-off, they’re charging the ‘sponsors’ to watch it.
And how’s Natalie’s international TV career trajectory faring? UM’s volunteer propagandists have to spruik the Ascended Mistress to the Esoteric Women’s Health mailing list, and let’s face it, there’s not a lot of marketable product to work with.
I dunno. You’d think if you were appointed successor to the 6th degree master, the one chosen to sell his 10 volumes of One Unified Truth, verbatim, into the New Era – you know – to align the whole blessed UNIVERSE, Rebecca and Vicky could manage a more Glorious and light filled write up.
2 August 2017 – Glorious detraction
Remember last year’s real estate and gossip post? The meme comp? You call yourselves pranic? I can’t believe none of you came up with this, tsk!!
And now from de-tractor to retractor 😉 😉 😜
Retraction – the Esoteric VAT
Updated: I may have misinterpreted the 2014-15 Sound Foundation Community Care accounts. I apologize if I got it wrong. I’m happy to do that if I did, but the more we look at it, the more anomalies we find. Whatever happened, that charity is a scam and if HMRC didn’t act on my 2014 complaint I’m very disappointed. According to the recently released 2015-16 accounts, the £378k VAT was imposed as part of the charity’s change from a trust to an incorporated company. It was then ‘recovered’. But what of all the other oddities, £115k worth of ‘management’ expenses all of a sudden, on top of donated services? £68k worth of donated swimming? Rock bottom hire charges for the Benhayons? Etc.
Read the update on the Accountability blog, with my findings on the other howlers in the accounts. I might have been wrong about the VAT , but I’m not wrong about the other actions I’ve reported. As many of you observed, I asked the charity’s trustees many times for an explanation of the debt and they did not respond. Amazing that UM whinges about reputation problems yet their standard reaction to criticism is to withhold information and launch overblown attacks.
They must know anything less than a full and frank response to my questions would have meant nothing. Their credibility is shot. It took the shuttle to Arcturus yonks ago. We can’t believe the explanation in the accounts, like we can’t believe a word they say about anything. They’ve never made any paperwork available. They’ve only ever reacted to our questions with tirades of lunacy. It’s backfired. It’s showed what dishonest bastards they truly are, and opened more questions about what they are desperately trying to hide.
Even if I was mistaken in interpreting the debt, UM didn’t want to risk having to address the rest of the anomalies. And there are a lot. To properly correct my error would mean UM would have to change their ways, start behaving reasonably, opening themselves to scrutiny and showing us their paperwork. I can’t see that happening. Except in court, when we get the documents via court orders.
The latest from the Deutschland 🇩🇪 detractor blog
Ich liebe dich duckies. Olga is ON FIRE over at the Universal Medicine Does Deutschland blog. If your German proficiency is as Esoteric as mine, the Chrome browser is handy for giving the option of computer translating the pages – not great translations but better than nothing.
Olga’s latest are on the rational alternatives to UM, UM’s Esoteric interpretation of SCIENCE, and the insanity that is ‘energetic integrity’. Plus Olga’s interesting experience of ‘Sacred Esoteric Healing’ scam courses one to four.
Olga also has a friend, ‘Piroschka’ who has written of her experience.
I haven’t forgotten my promise to give some of Olga’s comments here in English about surviving UM their own post. I’d like to continue that discussion for our English speaking readers, and will get to it when I can. Olga’s English is better than many native English speakers. It’s better than Serge and Natalie’s. For sure.
The School of the Livingness shop
Ever wondered what to give that special someone when you no longer give a damn about anyone but Serge, and are positively itching to ram your amazing new religious habit down everyone’s throats? What better ‘fuck you’ than a product from The School of the Livingness indoctrination range. In truth.
What could rub a loved one’s nose in it more than one of the maestro’s mindless Esoteric platitudes tastefully printed on a mug, for example?
A dear frenemy tempted me to choose a little gift for my next milestone, and I think the greeting card at the top of the page says it all. Such a sweet way of expressing ‘to hell with you, you evil Astral troll, I’m going to shower you with my all conquering carefully workshopped “love” and overcooked legal threats’. $4.10
My next choice would be the orthorexia nervosa tea towel, with the immortal Ageless Wisdom slogan, ‘WE PLAN OUR LIVES AROUND FOOD… WHAT IF THAT FOCUS WAS BROUGHT TO CHANGING THE WORLD?’ $22.63 per towel.
I dunno Serge, because we can’t change the world if we’ve starved to death?
There’s more scintillating Sergisms on the School of the Livingness site. I’m looking forward to the following being immortally woven onto a tea cozy. Or a meat axe:
The real mystery with UM’s ruthless merchandising though, is why Sergio still only flogs such a limited range of healing symbols. As someone said last month, UMers are still shoving the laminated postcards down their ‘kekks’. (I must look that up).
Tricky Vicky Lister could INNOVATE to combine the symbols with her range of Esoteric-synthetic granny pants. So when Alison Greig issues a directive to go sit on a symbol, one wouldn’t have to lift one’s delicately shrivelled rump. One would already have Serge’s holy-bird-crap-splat on their arse. And an Esoteric cassowary gracing each nipple. Perhaps.