Universal Medicine domain mastery, responsibility and gossip – July 2016Posted: July 4, 2016
4 July: *Internet domination plan lols *Caption comp
12 July: UniMed Brisbane Re-Defining health cash and recruitment drive
17 July: Sergio v David Icke + Eunice Minford undue influence, pseudoscience & omniscience fantasy
19 July: *Serge’s School of the Livingness cartoon channel *Number crunch comp
Approaching 4 years of blogging about these ratbags and the entertainment never stops!
I’ve given up on adding anything hard hitting to this month’s gossip. I’ve tried but it’s ended up spilling over into dedicated posts, a la the Serge v David Icke blockbuster, and another to come on the not so New Era of Responsibility®, and another on local politics. Look out for those soon.
Sergio’s Skool of the Livingness cartoon channel is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds, and what a pity. I reckon I could have done a good job of it.
Hemma Kearney has obviously done an enormous amount of work interspersing little animations into clips of Serge’s talking goitre. The thing is practically jumping out of his throat and looks ready to run amok through the streets of Goonellabah on a hunt for chocolate and porn. I didn’t have the patience to sit through a whole video, but dear me the part of this one I saw was dull. All it did was underscore how incoherent the World’s Teacher’s true expression is, and teach me about his complete misunderstanding of the biological theory of evolution.
Evolution is not about improving into some perfect being, or whatever Serge erroneously thinks the conventional theory is. Truly, who knows what goes on in his head? Evolution is a theory of adaptation to the environment and natural selection. It means the organisms with the biological features best adapted to surviving in their immediate environment are most likely to survive and breed, and pass those adaptations on to offspring. FFS. It’s not a spiritual concept.
I feel for Hemma. Really. From my innermost. She’s put a ton a work into this, and given what we know about Sergio’s propaganda mill, where volunteers are harassed to provide content AND fork out donations for site hosting, I assume she wasn’t paid. Another unfortunate poor bugger working for free for a multi-millionaire.
Retreat rakings competition
To celebrate the Fifth Level bullshitter’s return to Australia from a bumper retreat season, I’m announcing the inaugural Deborah Benhayon award for Esoteric Accounting. This year, Sergio generously arranged for the M & F Brides to line up for retreat photos to make the head count easier for me. Below is the Vietnam retreat shots, which appear to be sellabrating Serge marrying off his financial Bride, Kate Greenaway, to a jumbo bucket of KFC.
It appears Sergio did some hard sell to drag the faith-full to the retreats this year, probably to give the impression his following isn’t atrophying. I can’t be bothered trying to do a proper count, but above looks like about 240 paying customers. The Lennox retreat was probably about 220, with quite a few frequent flyers in there doubling and god knows, maybe tripling their retreat hit for the year. UK looks to be about same as previous years, 120-ish.
The competition is to work out how much money he pulled from that lot at avg. $1500 per head (excludes the accommodation). The real smartie pants among you can provide a figure factoring in sales of Glorious Music, books, subscriptions, butt-symbols and group healing sessions, plus the 12 days of workshops in the UK. Use the Esoteric Expenditure post as a guide if you’ve got the energy.
Prize for best guess-timate is a night’s accommodation in the Dark Lodge, located on the scenic Astral Plane, with the entity of your choice (check out time 3:30 am). Second prize is the opportunity to buy shares for Serge and Susan Scully in UniMed Brisbane Pty Ltd and its $2M+ property. Third prize is glamour photography package from Clayton Lloyd – photoshop extra.
And I just had to include this shot of the UK Retreat’s men’s group. For real.
17 July: Serge v Icke product comparison and Minford pseudoscience special
No, we don’t have the judgment for the Benhayon objections to my contextual truth defence yet, so keep calm and read my post comparing and contrasting occult scammer Sergio with conspiracy theory powerhouse David Icke, and I have to say Icke came off as much better value for money, with less austerities and touch ups. As far as I can tell.
It also spilled over into a debunk of bloody Eunice Minford’s wishful mangling of Einstein’s theory of relativity so she can fantasize about having magical powers. Urgh.
Read all about it: Serge Benhayon v David Icke pseudosciene and conspiracy theory special
12 July: UniMed Brisbane Re-Defining [sic] health & wellbeing scams
Sunday July 3rd, UniMed Brisbane’s avid recruiters roped about 60 targets at $60 a head into a day of misleading commercial presentations, undue influence and generous ‘free’ sessions of trance inducing hands on ‘healing’ by religious volunteers and mercenaries. An opportunity to shell out more cash at the ‘expo’ shop was included in the ticket.
Mother and daughter undue influence team, dentist, Dr Alannah Freer, and GP, Dr Amelia Stephens, Re-Defined [sic] health with a deadpan presentation of the bleeding obvious, taking care not to mention they’re plugging a business that teaches supernatural entity possession causes mental illnesses, evil entities rape children in households where people drink alcohol, and gynaecological disease is caused by men. Serge says so. They then talked about the glory of taking advantage of trusting members of the public to recruit to a commercial religious cult – to earn extra initiation points from a deluded con artist with a fetish for gynaecological pathologies and cancer patients. The audience gave them a standing ovation for breaching their professional codes of conduct, and laughed and laughed about how AHPRA doesn’t give a crap.
Naturopath Jenny Ellis talked about how there’s no stimulation or insinuation whatsoever when she performs Esoteric Breast Massage, except for light nipple stimulation. It’s very delicate. She spoke from her innermost about how she feels a total past life connection with clients, as long as they have plenty of money. Then she reassured the customers that the light of the soul keeps you alive, albeit temporarily, when you become too Esoteric to eat solid food.
Benhaviour specialist, Tanya Curtis presented on how to rort public funding by deceiving the parents of autistic children with Esoteric mumbo jumbo to grab their government grants. She then talked about how autistic children are selfish attention seekers, and how her amazing guru, Serge Benhayon, says smacking the prana out of kids is for their own good.
Esoteric gladiator, Bev Carter, travelled from Sydney to to trick customers into a True Movement group humiliation session, and physiotherapist Kate Greenaway took the piss out of all with Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy and cracked funnies about how she writes up private sessions to Medicare.
Accountant, business advisor and financial Bride of Serge, Susan Scully talked about money, money and more money, and how to claw one’s way to the top of a cult pyramid scheme. One of her favourite tricks was to persuade well meaning folk into ‘investing’ in UniMed Brisbane Pty Ltd, with a promise of ‘tax benefits’ that are as real as the Four Lords of Form. She was nearly splitting her sides as she told the ticket holders that she and Sergio the bullshitter own 100% of the shares. Then she told a hilarious story about how they conned the true believers to make anonymous donations to purchase a $2M building through the same company. They’ve gotten away with it because they tell the ‘investors’ it’s a ‘community clinic’, and the poor wretches are so convinced they volunteer their time to clean and maintain it for free. Because when Susan & Sergio do business, it’s all about ‘putting people first’. 😉 LOL!
Finally, customers were reminded of Esoteric Women’s Health’s upcoming presentation ‘Getting Real in Relationships‘, featuring a Q & A between a talking cervix and the Four Lords of Form; a lecture on the best techniques for beating children; and a session with Karin Becker on how to lure blokes into the cult via online dating AND stay single. Her winning tip for the Brides of Serge is to use the words ‘in truth’ and ‘playful’ in their profile, no matter how dishonest, miserable and humourless they are. The ladies will then talk about how consensual sex is abuse, particularly if the woman enjoys it, before they all agree that actually, every conceivable social interaction is in fact abuse, Serge says so. Furthermore, anyone who views their online profile is a stalker and should be reported to the police. Anyone who disagrees will have 80 webpages published about them labelling them an a abuser and a troll, and receive pseudo-legal threats on Christmas day. The ladies will then get special instructions on how to take out an AVO whenever they don’t get their way, and how to get the biggest divorce settlements to maximise expenditure on UM. Tickets $50.
4 July 2016 : UniMed masters of their own domains
Today, I stumbled across two more new Universal Medicine websites – one dropped off by an observant reader, or as the cult likes to call anyone who views their sites, stalker, and the other while searching for cult accountant, Susan Scully of Brisbane, having realized she was long overdue an entry on the Naming Names page.
A couple of months ago, we witnessed UniMed’s humble Porsche driving Mystic Dentist ramp up the hilarity by opening the cult’s own Universal Medicine Exposed all right, dullard self-congratulation, underachievement & glam photography site. Evidently, UniMed has a cunning plan to DOMINATE THE INTERNET, by buying up every possible domain name in the universe – all billion trillion gazillion of them. Universal Medicine Pty Ltd now has 74, and there’s quite a few more around the place, which is probably more websites than Sergio has followers.
I thought it might be play-full to post a Glorious selection, but if you want to be inflicted with the lot, including those taken out for the pre-school aged Benhayons, the list is here. I can’t be bothered checking to see if any of them are active. Probably not. That would mean Serge, aka Desiree Delaloye and Joseph Barker, would have to bully the pilgrims for more cash to fund the hosting. My count of live official UM sites is sitting at 43, and most of them aren’t listed below:
Righto, duckies, it’s about time all of you pulled your weight. I know there’s a meme in this photo of Barnaby Benhayon driving his tractor, but I’m too burnt out to come up with anything this minute. So hop to and do your worst! The best/worst will be awarded your very own SLAPP defamation claim personally from Serge. With Atmic love. Runners up win a front row seat* at the Benhayon vs Rockett trial and the opportunity to donate to my defence fund.
I will also accept suggestions for the cheesecake Esoteric Breast Massage shot at the top of the post.
*subject to availability