Cult Woman I Am

THE WOMAN I AM, written by a bloke

THE WOMAN I AM, written by a bloke

Glorious Music has unleashed a music video starring the Brides of Serge acting Joy-full & Loving and pretending to like each other to a bit of peculiar True Movement. Here in the bunker we en-joy a bit of karaoke, so we’ve posted some improved lyrics and knocked together a glorious photo essay to sell-abrate their beauty, sell-abrate their beauty…

The bunker music division was going to provide a recording of our impress of the thing, but the Lords of Form used up the helium cylinder at our last rave.

Think yourselves lucky.

For newcomers, the ditties produced by Chris James and the Benhayons are what Serge calls energetically correct music. It’s music that doesn’t need you to like it. Just buy it. It benefits your kidneys or something. Non cult music is poison. It can enter you, and months or years later the emotions of the Astral musician can give you cancer, but you might think that was the dairy you looked at, or the gluten free cake that had the energy of cake, or a mug of mead you imbibed when you were a Cathar. Before you were disembowelled.

Cult Woman I Am

Amazing, I am
What a pain, I am
When I carry on bitching, carry on bitching
Because you won’t buy into the UniMed scam

I’m thanking, Serg-i-o
For how special I am
I’ll take another selfie, take another selfie
And find some more cash to sink into this scam

There is Love, and there is Joy...

There is Love, and there is Joy…so I’ve been told

Serryn the sell out cult lawyer O'Regan thinking of the Glorious dosh

Serryn the cult lawyer O’Regan celebrates the Glorious dosh

Natalie demonstrates DIY Esoteric Breast Massage

Natalie Benhayon tries DIY Esoteric Breast Massage

Serge’s ‘truth’ you know we must tell
Whether you want to hear it or not
Detractors are love-less to disagree
You’re abusers and you can go to hell

And what we express from deep within
Is our soul-full bullying
Of anyone who doesn’t do what Serge says
And has their own thoughts and uses their head

There is Love, and there is Joy
We aint it, that’s our self loving choice
All this vanity I carry in me
I am the one, who cares what you think?

I need cash, another workshop
To keep feeling Wonder-Full
As the world keeps spinning, and the phones keep ringing
Bills pile up but I’ll tell you how wonderful I am

Sergio's top earners

Sergio’s top earners

Karoline Schleiffelder from Lismore FACS office (right)

Karoline Schleiffelder from Lismore FACS office (right)

Debby Benhayon will never never tell where the money is

Debby Benhayon will never tell where the money’s hidden

Amazing, I am
So selfish, I am
I obsess about my beauty, obsess about my beauty
Because that’s what a shallow piece of work I am

I’m thanking, my self
All this Joy, and pea soup
And I’ll take along the kiddies, take along the kiddies
Show them how to be touched up and brainwashed like I am

Alison Greig (2nd from right) reaching for cred but 'not there yet'

Reaching for cred but ‘not there yet’. Alison Greig (2nd from right) is off her symbol.

You spent HOW much on this shit?

You spent HOW much on this crap?

Although Serge never tells us what to do
Without him we haven’t got a clue
We’re gloriously empty inside
It’s why we tell so many lies

We can’t help but truly share
We smile & laugh but the bitchiness is there
I’ve sold my soul to Serge for all time
We’re in a cult but we think we are divine 

There is Love, and there is Joy
Fuck you, I bought a self-loving choice
Paid big bucks to focus on me
I am the one, so go to buggery

Yawn, is this thing over yet?

*Yawn* Lord, how long does this thing go on?

This song goes on and on
And we think we’re Wonder-Full
As your head keeps spinning, our pubic bones keep ringing
I will send you out of your mind telling you how amazing I am

Deborah Benhayon's STILL counting the money

Deborah Benhayon can’t stop counting the money

Natalie Benhayon's STILL reconnecting with her breasts

Natalie Benhayon can’t stop reconnecting with her breasts

Amazing, I am
High maintenance, I am
Let me tell you about my beauty, tell you about my beauty
No one can possibly comprehend how wonder-full I am

I’m thanking, my self
I bought into this scam
Where I obsess about my beauty, obsess about my beauty
And let you pick up the pieces, because that’s the pain in the arse I am

Esoteric Joy

Esoteric ‘Joy’


44 Comments on “Cult Woman I Am”

  1. Truthseeker says:

    Did I see right? Are there some Doctors performing in this?
    These women must have such low low self esteem for them to be continually telling the world that they are the best!
    Sickening and sad really.

  2. Trish says:

    Oh my loveless god. I find this song and these women so self serving and smug. I also find it incredibly insulting these women think the rest of us women need them to feel good about ourselves, or should I say need UM to feel good about ourselves.

    • Sherry Hayden says:

      They are giving you a beautiful compliment Trish,and complimenting all the woman in the world.There have not said anything about UM.

  3. Astral Tiger says:

    Laugh…..I nearly died. Is there really an angel of laughter?

  4. rippleddonut says:

    How frightening. Frighteningly bad in every creative sense, of course, but more than that, how utterly these poor souls think and act as one. It is a completely emotionless union of automatons with teethy grins. None of those women should have been made to ‘perform’ or participate in anything that embarrassingly awful. But as we know there is not an iota of free will among them. It is like watching a North Korean propaganda video but with less of a plot and less feeling.


    Lucky YouTube has done a public service and posted the antidote on the same page.

    All the single leddies, all the single leddies…

    More honest than that tuneless dross above.

  6. Lord of Form says:

    I bet the girls say it was just a fun day out. How it looks is a roll-call of the faithful.

    A bunch of middle aged, predominantly single woman all being the woman Serge says they should be.

    “The Woman Serge says is best.”
    Words and muzac (???) by Serge’s son. Vocals 😦 by Serge’s wife. Dancing (?) by rusted on members. Wardrobe and makeup according to group doctrine.

    It’s just another piss-poor homage to the UM doctrine of self-ish-ness, and a subtly enforced public affirmation to the sacrifices made to be submerge their identities to the group.

    Getting Deborah B there to smile away just reinforces the creepiness of the whole thing. I guess she may be thinking she is supporting her son in his musical aspirations. Maybe be honest with him Debbie? Maybe be honest with them about everything. Then see what happens.

  7. Esther Rockett says:

    And then there’s those little girls stuck in front of the camera to sell Serge Benhayon’s special feminism.

    Yes, I spotted Dr Jane Barker among the chorus line, Truthseeker. Not sure if there were more doctors. Most of the wimmin in the thing are making money out of pushing UM. Some doing well out of plain pushiness. Don’t make me watch it again!

    • Sherry Hayden says:

      You sound so jealous,

      • Esther Rockett says:

        Are you done sharing your true expression yet, Sherry?

        Did you notice we allowed your comments and you are free to respond and answer our questions?

        Perhaps you’d like to read some of the comments that were not allowed on the site run by UM’s AMAZING WOMEN, Desiree, Alison, Sarah and Rebecca, yes?

        Yes, women are particularly AMAZING when they are issuing false accusations of domestic abuse and instigating baseless AVOs. Amazing again when ganging up to publicly slur a patient who was harmed by one of the cult’s self-loving doctors, or when they touch the pubic bones of sexual abuse survivors to help them locate their ‘Deeper Femaleness’, or defend a bloke who tells women not to play sport and not to wear tampons because wearing a tampon is like having a dirty man’s penis inside you. The same bloke likes to have little girls stay in his home for weeks at a time.


        How much have you spent on UM?

        Claim it, Sherry!

        • hummingbird says:

          I note that there are no answers to your statements and questions Esther coming from Sherry
          Hayden? Why is this no surprise?

          Those disgusting things that you brought to this woman’s attention are what their most loving Serge teaches and says.

          We jealous? I do not think so. Disgusted yes, very.
          Those are some of the things that you represent Sherry by your association and defense of Serge and Universal Medicine.

          A dear friend of mine tried to comment on the UM blog the other day was it let through – NO.
          It was not inflammatory nor rude. So unless you are one of the registered UM brainwashed believers you have no chance.

          So amazing, so transparent so full of truthfulness and integrity I do not think.

          UM equals brainwashed (ness) second to none.

  8. Trish says:

    what is Natalie Benhayon trying to achieve in this video? (isn’t her skirt just a little too short for UM and who is the blonde girl with her?) I am a little dumbfounded by the whole thing. Its so ridiculous I want to laugh but its also just really really scary as they are so well organised and keep promoting themselves continually (it would be so easy to get suckered into this if you were off guard and looking for love in your life) Thank god I am a skeptical old cow who would never give up red wine and a good coffee.

    Changing subjects but what is this about?

    They are trying to infiltrate schools. What next, Government??? As my husband just said, they just look like a cult.

    • Esther Rockett says:

      Yikes, that teacher THING just landed in my Inbox. OH MY LOVELESS GOD ALL OVER AGAIN. (Thanks for that line, I couldn’t wait to use it.)

      They’re in schools, in local government, Lismore police station, Lismore FACS office – they’re a disease.

      The blonde girl is Isabella Benhayon nee Chilton – Dr Howard’s daughter.

      • Trish says:

        They are incredibly well organised. Whoever does their marketing, their business plan, their everything could get a job organising Australia.
        This is what makes them so unbelievably scary, as Serge changes his spots to suit whatever is happening. Its like they are a political party and seem know what the public want and then go about saying it. I remember when UM wasn’t a religion, they stated that categorically. Now all of a sudden they are a religion. They have their fingers in every pie.

        They rebrand yoga, wellbeing, massage, acupuncture, dancing, education, healing and health (everything else in-between) and come up with some UM term, and all the little followers can’t get enough. Oh Serge you are so wonderful and so big, you are God – less.

        My husband wanted to know last night “Do you think Serge and his family believe in their own philosophy”? Good question. I said “I don’t think Serge does, but his children might”.

      • Sherry Hayden says:

        You sound so jealous, so nasty,remember you are part of the humane race too.Do you have siblings?When you were growing up I bet you were a horrible sister always picking on your sisters and brothers and you still haven’t grown up,still picking on others.Shame on you!

        • You Know Who says:

          That old cult chestnut- jealousy. The only time I have heard that since I was about 18 was out of a cult members mouth, after listening to Serge go on about it endlessly. It’s something you generally lose when the pimples go away Sherry.

          No one could possibly be jealous of that rubbish, and I can assure you no one is jealous of Serge either. Who’d want to be a daggy dressing pint sized cult leader living in the hick hills with a pack of cling-on’s?

          If you look up Narcissistic personality disorder you will see that people that suffer from it think everyone else is jealous of them. Think about it for a while, as you have your “good” life.

        • Darkly Venus says:

          Yes, Sherry runs one of the Esoteric meditation groups in rural NSW. Seems she hasn’t been sitting on her healing symbol.

          Careful Sherry, emotions give you cancer. Serge says so.

    • Feline Aphrodite says:

      Please please let us ALL lobby our local MP’s RE:
      as well as asking the MP to make representation to the Minister for Education.

      I am aware that this will not protect the private school sector, that one is in the think tank.

      Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are like the tentacles of an octopus.

      • Cripes, Michael Benhayon would have to be the best advertisement EVER for not having UM anywhere near skools. The bugger can’t even write a decent pome.

        Trying to improve that spherical mess he calls lyrics was one of the most laborious toils I have ever undertaken.

        Hey, Michael, chucking your music lessons is not something to brag about, Precious.
        And here’s a tip, google iambic pentameter or dactyls or something. Forget all that spherical shit. Keep it simple. You’ll never win Battle of the Bands with Woman I Yam or the other Eso ditties.

        Sergio is a vile little perve
        Any fool can see
        You silly UMers have some nerve
        Paying out on me

        See. It’s simple. It’s snappy, and I threw that out in under three minutes. I don’t have to get up at 3 am with Miranda to produce that kind of genius either. Tsk.

        • Sherry Hayden says:

          You are very NASTY Pranic Princess,dont you have a life,you just like picking on others that are having a great life!

        • Don’t you mean ‘you are very PRANIC, Princess’ etc. etc.

          What does that mean, by the way, Sherry? ‘Pranic?’

          Picking on people having a ‘great life’ at others’ expense is nothing compared with several dozen of your friends picking on a woman who copped two years of unnecessary chemotherapy from a spaced out medical professional, for example, is it Precious?

          You should try using the space bar after commas.

          Funny to see cult members’ lousy spelling and grammar when Andy and Rebecca Baldwin aren’t around to correct it for them, lol.

        • FlowerPower says:

          Sherry you seen the site of your fellows over there at Universal Medicine.
          The one where they and you really show what is just below the surface – vicious bullies.HYPOCRITES!

          Alison Grieg is a lousy moderator, she doesn’t even abide by the stated comments policy
          of her site. So much for all the initials after her name. Lawyer!? lol Not only do the comments
          not abide by this policy but Alison Greig’s blogs don’t they are vexatious and twisted.

          Here is a sampling of their/yours Sherry comments policy.

          Comments Policy (of the vicious Universal Medicine site:)

          “We welcome comments and questions. We have guidelines for comments and the site is pre-moderated – we will not publish comments that:

          are anonymous

          are abusive, incite hatred, seek to intimidate or use foul language

          attack others

          are lies and or distortions

          contain racist, sexist, homophobic or other discriminatory content
          are posted with the intention of provoking the writers of these blogs or those who comment upon them

          contain material that violates applicable laws and regulations
          These requirements protect and honour freedom of speech, because when speech is hateful or aggressive it is intended to intimidate others; it is intended to bully and suppress with no true intention for open discussion or consideration. Intimidation, bullying and aggression are not free speech:” From the UM Facts (lol) site

          HYPOCRISY – just what we have come to expect from UM.

          The nasty, malicious and down right stupid remarks and lies that Alison Greig WRITES and allows on that site.
          The comments by all of you sucked in UM people proves that you are told what to say and believe. Sad and laughable. BRAIN WASHED.

          So it is okay is it Sherry to attack a man whom you will not allow to defend himself on that site? But you allow his wife to go for it and defame him publicly with no regard for their little daughter.Or maybe you all wrote those articles for her.
          Esther has been brutally attacked, yet her questions are never answered. You attack a journalist/ insanely, and a patient viciously as well over 200 comments (between 2 sites) about utter distorted rubbish and accusations, all of the comments show that none of you have even read the newspaper article.

          Your names are there for the world to see, I have shown quite a few of my friends and their
          comments are ones of disgust and how that you are all wacko, serving the interests of
          money making serge.

        • Poppy says:

          Enough critusisum already!
          U r a major HATER!!!!

          Hello Score!!!, Ellie, Poppy, ToCoolforSchool and PartyPrincess at I.P. address, I deleted your other five comments saying pretty much the same thing. You’re welcome to comment, but if you persist in spamming the comments with nothing to say I’ll mark them as spam and delete them. Kthanxbai, Esther

        • Anonymous says:

          Someone should do back to school for some spelling lessons.

  9. FlowerPower says:

    Here here Feline!
    Secrecy and Sexual Abuse in the Church
    August 13, 2014 — 47 Comments
    By Graeme Ness, Retired Minister of the Uniting Church in Australia, Woolgoolga, NSW, Australia

    Is this Graeme Ness a UM er or have UM copied and pasted??

    • susieQ says:

      Yes has commented on UM site. At least he has the right surname he will fit in well.
      “NESS!” Such amazingness!

    • Lord of Form says:

      Who knows. But the salient point is 75 UM’ers commented on the post, blathering about the evils of the church. Meantime, Serge is married to a girl that lived in his house as a 13 year old, and whom he coached until 1999 as an 18 year old. They have then accepted that there was nothing untoward, and they then met up again a “few years later”, lived together for a year “without touching each other” and then married a few years later.

      Talk about head in the sand.

      And then according to Alison Greig, crazed defender of Serge, him having young girls stay over regularly at his house is because of his generosity as a ‘wealthy man’, and anyone who comments on that is a sexual deviant.

      Makes perfect esoteric sense.

      And Trish, the answer is he does believe his crap. Mostly. However, he has enough sense to know that the ‘secular’ world see it as baloney, and his main interest remains money. Hence the fronts, the cleaned up sites, and the new facade.

      And you’re right it was NOT a religion two years ago. In fact, the word was reviled. It is now accepted as a religion by the flock because Serge changed his mind. He’s changed his mind because if they say “religion’ long and loud enough, they may get tax-free status.. Ergo, no transparency, no accountability. More money in Serge’s pockets.

      The members also changed their story about Serge too. I recall when he was a simple man, who lived on nothing, and the few dollars he made went to support ‘cancer patients’ and sick people. Now, as bragged by him, and as regurgitated by members, he is very successful wealthy man and anyone who comments on that about face are “jealous”. They don’t find anything odd about Sergey- boy owning more properties than would be possible on his claimed income, or his hidden bankruptcy, or any of the other dog-ball anomalies they’d happily pin on any one else should they suspect it.

      More esoteric sense.

      Serge has gone through a stress test and he has learned his members will accept just about anything. That must give him some comfort. And they’ll go as far as to accuse anyone who questions them or Serge of the very things Serge does. No cognitive dissonance or ‘brainwashing’ at work here.

      That’s the livingness. Please donate.

      • Burn!! says:

        What’s the point? Can’t u just go to TripAdvisor or something?
        Stop being so nasty.

        okay, GG and Kelly Clarke and Poppy and the other six or so names you’ve used from IP, try being a bit less repetitive. Okay? Use your imagination, lovey. Perhaps you might teach us about entities that rape children. Tell us why UM never talks about those publicly. Esther

  10. Trish says:

    be warned this comment comes with some big frustrations. i don’t mean to offend but I really need to get this off my chest. Ok here it goes

    Personally for me, the biggest frustration, (now that I realise my friends are never coming back from UM land), is the world has so many huge big issues like: global warming, wars in Palestine, starving children, virus outbreaks, big big issues that need attention. And UM and its middle class woman are singing songs about how amazing they are and prattling on in their love blogs about how often they get their period and how womanly they are and what bath soaps they used that day, and in return, I say to them, go tell someone who cares. Honestly First World problem or what.

    Serge will probably read this blog and then use it to come up with some 3rd world charity event, which not long ago would have been pranic (you are a big hypocrite Serge and you know it – so there). I actually can’t even believe I am writing about how irritating they are and how irritating and selfish my friends have become. I don’t really care if they get off on having breast massages, chakra punctures, healing sessions – just do it without your judgement of non UM’ers and do it quietly (you’d be amazed at what you can get away with when you don’t go on and on and on about it). (I never told anyone when I had colonics and started rolling in mud three times a week, so I don’t want to hear about UM songs, meditations, herbs, workshops, and especially UM beliefs) If the UM faithful were actually filled with love, I believe, they would go and do something a bit Mother Theresa(isn), like help the poor in 3rd world countries and also they would do it very quietly without having to fucking go on and on and on about it (I think I have got their going on and on about it across now I hope) on all their selfish, humourless, self indulgent, ego centric love blogs.

    Told you it was a rant. Please that comment was filled with frustrated emotion so please whoever reads this make sure you go and sit on some healing symbol and clear all this negative energy I have just emitted over the internet air waves so that you can feel AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!!!! AAAAhhhhhhhh I can’t get that silly tune out of my head.

    • FlowerPower says:

      You are not alone Trish. Your sentiments and frustrations are shared.
      You expressed it all so well. You took the words right out of my mouth.

  11. Trish says:

    I just wanted to add, that the above post is my frustrations and I think I have said before I am truly sorry for those of you who have lost children and partners to this cult. I never mean to belittle that. For you its much more then the going on and on about UM. It is however one part that shows how brainwashed Serge’s flock are. when you meet up with a UMer they can’t end up talking about anything else but what Serge says and how he says you should be in the world


      We couldn’t care less either if they want to have their boobs fondled by Marie Louise Myers or if they channel the low-rarchy or believe the Arcturans sent us the healing symbols for $7.50 each. Whatever. I don’t care if they want to carry on about that among themselves, starve themselves, touch each other, pash each other, who cares?

      But when they call it medicine, and religion, use deceptive advertising, non informed consent, molest people, invade privacy and they drag children into it and bully and censor anyone who speaks up, we are going to expose them, make complaints about them and satirize their bullshit.


      I feel for you, not being able to get that toon out of your head. Trying substituting the lyrics. Play the Single Leddies a few dozen times. Or do a YouTube tour…

      This is more my speed:

    • Lord of Form says:

      It’s good to express emotions Trish. Unless you’re in the group. Then it’s pranic, evil, astral, or some other bullshit.

      Self-righteousness, self-absorption, self-obsession and self-ish-ness is what self-care is all about.

      The first symptom of someone slipping into Serge’s mind-fuck is a reduced ability to see someone else point of view. Once they are totally incapable, don’t care less and will do whatever they feel like, with a good fuck you!, you know they’re total goners. That’s about when they start going on about how glorious they are.

      Just like you, we’ve all witnessed that. If only the members realized how shitty it looks to the ‘un-itiated’.

      I can’t tell you the number of people I have met (but I’d guess over 50 in 2 years), often encountered randomly , who will go “Oh, Universal Medicine! my friend got into that…now they’re:

      *A bitch
      *Self righteous
      *disowned me because I am full of entities
      * No fun to be around
      * superior
      * go on endlessly about it
      *have fucking weird ideas
      *left their husband
      *left their wife
      *scared their kids
      *are scared of exercise
      *scared of sex
      *eat weird shit
      *don’t eat
      *got way too skinny
      * worship that fraud Serge
      *scared of music
      *pig headed
      (their words not mine)

      So while they are all giving each other massages and blowing hot air up each others arses about how wonderful they are often giving long soliloquy’s on their glory, this is how people in the real world find them.

      As far as I can see, the real result of ‘doing the work’ is to become a much, much smaller person.

      Rant as much as you like Trish. We’ve all done it. I’m doing it now. It doesn’t get you anywhere with members so you may as well vent here. At least we’ll listen.

  12. La Métempsycose says:

    Having worked in the music business for more years than I care to remember , I am always reluctant to criticise a piece of work unless it is a polemic rather than music. After all, music is a matter of taste. This tripe by Michael Benhayon is just simple propaganda : an half baked anthem for a gaggle of Stepford wives.
    It is truly dire and would be risible if not for the fact that the participants in the song and the video would appear to be sincere in their delivery of the vacuous lyrics to a trite melody. It is incomprehensible to me that they all appear to be totally unaware of the extent to which they are being manipulated by this ruthless plastic shaman.
    We all know that the noble Serge, he who converses with the Gods, has pronounced that all music carries the pranic signature of the musicians who write or perform the song , so where does that leave M. Benhayon and his cohorts? The UM cult appears to have no aesthetic values whatsoever. We all know what Muzak sounds like. Now we have UMzak in all its befuddled glory.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I think Nata-lie is a bit self conscious of smiling. If you are so Booty Full why aren’t you smiling….
    Celebrate my Booty…..Celebrate my Booty. I can’t get this otta my head looooooool

    These tacky and there’s Unimed try hards

  14. W. Harper says:

    Words fail me for quite how bad this is. Thankfully it is wonderful anti recruiting tool. Show this to any non-member and you can guarantee they won’t be signing up anytime soon.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Painful to watch the glorious propaganda music: they don’t look happy, kind of forced, fake smiles … corny lyrics, desperately trying to affirm one another. Exploiting the vulnerable who are paying a lot of money to be told they are beauty-ful and amaz -ing. (We can tell them that for free!)