Merry Pranic Christmas & announcing the cult meme competition!

AmazingMonaDunno about you, but I’ll be having one heck of a Pranic Christmas; marinated in brandy, dipped in custard, rolled in evil dried fruit and with a few nut crackers thrown in.

To prevent our readers from lacking direction and purpose during their time off from the Astral salt mines, Venus and I thought we should give them something meaningful to occupy themselves – a glimpse of our site stats and a CRACKING END OF YEAR Universal Medicine Cult MEME COMPETITION!!!

Cult members will celebrate Christmas day like they celebrate every other self-loving day – avoiding prana like the plague and pitying their non cult loveless loved ones for being unable to recognize the GLORIOUS LOVE and LIGHT they’ve paid so much for. They’ll listen to a SergeCast, dip into a SergeScripture, stir their SergeSoup anti-clockwise and hug a fellow SergeHugger. They’ll spend the rest of their waking seconds thinking about Serge and ignoring those less fortunate, who’d give anything for the privilege of having the kind of money they donate to a multi millionaire dropkick and his degenerate hierarchy of under achieving parasites.

Whatever. We’re taking time off into the New Year. Lord knows we’ve bashed and bashed that damned cult this year…or Venus has – I had some time off for naughty behaviour… and although the crappy Universal Medicine cult looks a lot sillier than it did a year ago, cult leader and prodigious bullshitter, Serge Benhayon, is still rolling in cash, and the hard core followers are still putting themselves and their kids in harm’s way and throwing money at him faster than they can earn it.

So our job is not done, but dammit we need some rest, and more importantly, some recreation!

End of year site trivia

But first, to pack up 2013, the FACTS about Universal Medicine was launched in April to supplement Universal Medicine’s half a dozen or so ‘truth’ sites with the material they carefully omit from their flatulent propaganda.

Our best month for pageviews was August, when the cult tried to shut us down with false copyright and trademark infringement notices, which disappeared faster than a fart in hurricane when Venus issued challenges, agreeing to contest them in court.

The top 10 posts:

  1. Rebecca Baldwin – Universal Medicine cult sexual abuse apologist falsely accuses us of false accusations
  2. The tax exempt College of Universal Medicine – a hostile education
  3. Desperate Desiree – the Universal Medicine cult’s feeble copyright claims
  4. Propaganda Slap Down
  5. Monopolizing sexual abuse outrage (and the story of the Esoteric kamikaze)
  6. Hamish Broome – Northern Star journalist, Universal Medicine cult informant
  7. Esoteric Creativity – sexual abuse denial set to muzak
  8. The Universal Medicine cult under ATTACK
  9. E$oteric Expenditure – an inventory of Universal Medicine’s $elf-loving products
  10. Not on the payroll – an Esoteric mystery

Who says followers aren’t reading?

And Rebecca Baldwin made the classic comment that we hate bloggers are obsessed with money and it only costs $5 to attend a brainwashing session, but it’s not just us, is it Rebecca? The money posts are super popular, and Rebecca should be honoured that she’s had a starring role in our other top rating posts. So either the cult members love a bit of coliseum action when we have a go at Bec, or it’s Bec herself on a clicking frenzy whenever we take a pop. But she’d need to be clicking a LOT. Interest in Eunice the euthanasia enthusiast and Rachel Hall the mystic dentist, isn’t so much. Those posts dwell at the bottom of our ratings pile, like their subjects.

And finally, our favourite Google search terms, which brought readers to the FACTS blog this year, in no order of preference:

  • heal lol fact
  • what was serge benhayon really
  • pranic sexual vampires
  • chackraponcture
  • online cult for depressed people
  • pull someone from behind without touching them esoteric
  • my son says hes now an ascended master is he evil
  • how is miranda benhayon related to serge benhayon
  • women manipulate mens chakras
  • keep calm uruguay
  • astral life of criminals
  • is natalie benhayon an ascended master
  • universal hostility
  • rebecca baldwin the fear

Although this is probably my favourite:

  • really bad smelling gas and chakras

And finally, Serryn O’Regan, stop googling YOURSELF.

Pranic Meme Competition

Take an image, Universal Medicine as the theme, MEME IT UP! and send it in.

Here’s one I prepared earlier:

LOF!!!

I had a better one, okay, but it’ll have to wait until cult photographer Clayton Lloyd learns about copyright law, and gets over the fact that us parodying Serge using photos he’s taken is fair use under the law. (He’s issued another ill advised copyright infringment notice. If in doubt use the photos from news articles until he gets it through his thick head. Or use the Willy Wonka image in the Meme Generator.)

Or perhaps you’d like to do something more subtle, like the one at the top?

The Prizes

The best entry wins a lunch date with me, and I expect to be taken somewhere upmarket with a comprehensive champagne list.

Second place wins a night out with Venus

Third place wins two nights out with Venus

The most hopeless and pathetic entry wins a day long modern art excursion with me and Venus – lecture included. And a pranic Christmas tattoo (permanent).

*Bonus points if you can work in an Xmas or new year theme.

Rules

Competition is open until some time next year – whenever we can get it together to blog again.

You can enter as many times as you like. Anonymous entries are okay.

Entries will be posted as they come in, give or take a day or two.

We believe in freedom of speech and expression, but please, try not to get us arrested or sued, thanks.

Judging will be ruthless. Bribes are expected, or at least donations to our unregistered Maya Glamour Illusion and Early Retirement Charitable Fund. A large fee will be charged if you want to change your meme after we’ve posted it.

Tips

We think the best meme generator is this one: http://www.memecenter.com/memebuilder  (Upload an image, caption it, save it to your computer, email it to us.)

Use Google image search to find your favourite subject matter. eg. Sergio the bullshitter

Results are better if you use larger images – say 200KB +

If you are seriously technically challenged, Venus might roll out of the hammock for long enough to assist BUT you’ll need to write a large cheque or send a packet of cash, and at least have an image in mind and have thought up a caption. Don’t ask me. Santa’s Helper and I will be busy working on the perfect stuffing.

If you don’t already have our email addys, use the form below and we’ll send an addy to send your WINNING MEME to. (Confidentiality guaranteed. We don’t give out names or email addresses.) Unfortunately the form won’t allow attachments.

NOW HOP TO AND MERRY CHRISTMAS – and see you in 2014 for buckets more DIRT.

Contact form for meme entries:

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6 Comments on “Merry Pranic Christmas & announcing the cult meme competition!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    The prizes suck. Just saying.

  2. RJM says:

    I trust the art excursion is a Da Vinci free zone.

    • There aren’t many Da Vinci originals in Brisbane, lol.

      And it’s not Da Vinci’s fault if Leonardo the bullshitter insults his works by saying they ‘cleanse prana’. Such a pity, because some of our readers experience trauma triggering if they see one of his paintings.

      • RJM says:

        I actually do quite like some of Leonardo’s work. Though I’ve never cared for the Mona Lisa, and thanks to Scumbag Serge’s appropriation of it I’d be happy if I never saw it again as long as I live.